3 Questions to Squash Overhwelm
Feb 17, 2021
THREE QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN OVERWHELM STRIKES
Overwhelm is the enemy of success.
It’s the ally to crazy.
And when it strikes, it can be difficult to stop.
I lived a life of overwhelm. Only for the simple reason that I would try to overhaul my life, feel like I couldn’t keep up and then ultimately give up on myself.
When you get tired of giving up, you’ll seek a better way to not feel like a failure and that’s what I want to share with you today.
There are 4 major areas of my life that can easily overwhelm me: being healthy, parenting, keeping the romance in my marriage alive and building a business.
Maybe you can relate to one or more of my areas. But the first question to ask yourself when you feel overwhelmed is this: WHAT IS CAUSING ME TO FEEL OVERWHELMED?
You must identify it. When you know what causes it, you can be proactive at stopping it before it strikes. So I told you the areas that trigger overwhelm for me and I want to let you inside my head when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Let’s taking parenting as an example - it goes like this ...
Why don’t they listen?
Stop fighting with one another!
Why do I keep yelling, it doesn’t work!
I’m gonna run away if you two don’t cut it out.
I can do better for them.
Maybe they need more attention from me.
Maybe it’s two much screen time.
And the thoughts race, are scattered and I’m focused on too many things at once.
That is exactly what being overwhelmed is ... when you’re trying to focus on too many things at once.
I’ll give you another example - being healthy ...
Why can’t I lose weight?
Why does this feel so hard?
I need to drink more water.
Maybe I’ll cut out carbs.
Or should I cut out dairy altogether?
Or maybe I should portion out my food.
Nope, I need to exercise more.
Maybe I need to just be ok with my body as it is.
I mean, it’s exhausting just saying it all out loud.
This leads me to question number two to ask yourself: WHAT NEEDS ME FOCUS RIGHT NOW?
What we focus on is what we feel. What we feel determines the quality of life we life.
Sometimes you’ll have the opportunity to take out a piece of pen and paper where you can do a brain dump. Literally right down everything that is going on in your brain. This works really well with to-do overwhelm. When you feel like you have too much to do and not enough time.
Once you get it all out, now you can sort through what is most important, what can be removed or delegated and what can wait. This will help you organize your thoughts.
Now there will be times when you’re in the heat of the moment and don’t have time for a brain dump. Like the kids are fighting and I’m ready to lose my shit. This is where the power of WHAT & HOW comes to play. If you recognize you’re in a downward spiral - asking WHY is not helpful.
So with my examples, the first questions I asked when I was feeling overwhelmed was why don’t the kids listen or why can’t I lose weight. WHY questions will give you reasons. All the reasons that validate the question being asked.
So if you can say WHAT am I focused on right now or HOW can I ... then you’re gonna look for a solution. Wouldn’t you rather a solution over a reason?
Let’s use one of my triggers that cause me overwhelm and apply it to what needs my focus.
I’ll take building a business.
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the aspects of building. Creating a community. Having people know what you stand for and how you can help them. Who is my audience? What problem am I solving? How can I connect with them further. Social media. Back end work. Creation. There are so many moving parts that if I don’t do a brain dump, I feel like I’m bobbing for air.
Once I am able to do the brain dump, then I can determine what requires my focus right away.
The last question you can ask to squash overwhelm is WHAT CAN I DO FOR MYSELF TO RECHARGE?
Often times we get overwhelmed when we are trying to pour from an empty cup. The problem is that you have nothing left to give and of course are going to feel exhausted as if life is running you.
Taking time for yourself is NOT selfish. By finding the things that recharge your battery so to speak, you are then able to show up for yourself and others in a better way. Self care looks different for everyone so don’t get caught up in the comparison trap of what others are doing. Do for you and you’ll be much better off!
OK - let’s summarize … when you’re feeling overwhelmed by life, asking these three questions will help you to regain control and feel some sense of sanity.
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What is causing me to feel overwhelmed?
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What needs my focus right now?
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What can I do for myself so that I feel recharged?