Chasing Feelings Not Things
Feb 24, 2021
CHASING FEELINGS NOT THINGS
Hey, it’s Heather. Are you looking for a way to show up more confidently in your life? To feel more in control with your parenting? Or maybe to just believe in yourself for once? I got you covered. I’ve been doing an Instagram Stories Challenge all around upgrading yourself so that you can show up to life in a way that feels good and I’m helping you to understand that it all starts in your mind first. If you’re on Instagram, I invite you to come over and join me. I’m at @heatherfcooper and if you do decide to join me, send me a DM with the word UPGRADE and I’ll know this is where you came from. Cannot wait to hear from you.
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This one liner slapped me across the face.
I felt the goosebumps rise on my arms.
You know that feeling I’m talking about, right?
This was the line: you can’t pretend to be happy, your kids know when you’re not!!
Ed Mylett was speaking at the Becoming Unstoppable event put on by Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of It Cosmetics and author of the book that was just released called Believe It. I was passively tuning in to all these amazing speakers while I was working.
And then Ed came on to talk about why it’s so important for us to believe that we were all born with these gifts inside of us. And then he started talking about how as parents we see our kids. Like if they are at gymnastics, we see OUR kid. Or if they are on stage, we see the kid crying but we really see OUR kid. They are our world. Which is so damn true. We experience this unconditional love for who our child is and everything we know they can be.
Well then he said, you are that to your child x 1000. They want you to be nothing less than happy. And you can pretend you’re happy but they know you’re not. You can pretend life is good, but they know it isn’t. Your kids feel your energy. And they know when you’re pretending and when you’re not.
WOAH! I felt all this in my gut and all the way down my arms.
Lately I’ve felt super frustrated with trying to parent. My kids are at the stage where fighting with one another seems to be more appealing than getting along.
No one ever told me that 5 years old was like three on steroids. And trying to parent a 5 and 3 year old feels like I’m not just losing a battle but the war. I know I’m not alone in this. If you’re a parent listening, I’m sure you’ve felt this way at one time or another or maybe right now.
We are in a season of change. A time when things feel like they will never get better. But know this, it’s just a season and it will change on us again.
So when Ed spoke about our kids and them knowing and feeling what we feel, it’s our responsibility to do something about it. It’s our job to live our best life so our kids can too. They are always watching and replicating what we do.
I’m a big person on word choice. I believe wholeheartedly that words matter. But our actions are going to speak so much louder when we are trying to lead.
How dare we tell our kids that they can be anything they want to be when we doubt ourselves out of action and back onto easy street?
How dare we tell our kids to be brave when we allow fear to dictate what we do?
How dare we tell our kids to love who they are when we are so quick to criticize and pick apart ourselves?
How dare we tell our kids to chase their dreams when we believe our dreams are too big to go after?
How dare we?
Ed then proceeded to say, what if we were to set feeling goals instead of material goals? What if we woke up to chase a feeling and not a thing? Can we agree our lives would be lived so much differently?
Hear me out on this …
What if you set a goal to FEEL joy every single day?
What if you set a goal to FEEL laughter with your kids?
What if you set a goal to FEEL happier in your body and life?
What if you set a goal to FEEL content every night when you got in bed?
What if you set a goal to FEEL accomplished at the end of each day?
What if you set a goal to FEEL intentional about the day ahead each morning?
Doesn’t that feel so much lighter than setting a goal to get something done or get something?
For instance, setting a goal of losing weight OR making X amount of money.
Let’s face it, you don’t want to achieve weight loss or making X amount of money. What you really want is the FEELING of what achieving that will give you.
Let’s get intentional and set some feeling goals?
Are you with me?
If you are, I want you to either send me an email at [email protected] OR send me a DM on Instagram and tell me ONE feeling goal you’ll commit yourself to for the rest of February. This is your accountability.
Here’s mine: I am going to set my goal to FEEL like I made an impact in some kind of capacity every single day. For me that means having an honest, thoughtful conversation with someone. Teaching my kids a lesson that can impact them in the years ahead. Challenging my husband to see something differently. Or just impacting how I feel as in doing the thing even when I don’t want to.
So what will yours be? No, really … I want to know. Send it to me!