Love of an Animal

Until one has experienced the undying love of an animal, part of one's heart remains unawakened. 

This blog is completely devoted to learning what love is. I've always said (before having kids) that no-one loves me more than my kitty, Diezel. NO-ONE! He was my first baby. And as I type this, I have a huge lump in my throat wishing the end of the road, our time together, wasn't so near. 

I'm sure you understand if you've ever loved a pet. It's one of the worst heart breaks when you have to say goodbye. It's so hard to let go even though you know you're doing the right thing. 

When I went to get Diez (found free kittens on a Craigs List ad) in 2006, he lived in an apartment with a lot of other cats and dogs. Not the most ideal situation for animals so I felt as if I was saving him. And if you have followed me long enough - you know my heart always goes to black things. He was no different. I immediately knew he was the one with no hesitation. Double paws and all. Home he came with me.

What I never realized was that he was going to travel the toughest years of my life with me. He would become my safety and comfort through times that I didn't know if either of us would make it through.

From lost friendships through abusive relationships to new found love and many (nine to be exact) moves later, he stayed the course with me. And I never took his purring love for granted. He comforted me when I felt so alone and as if the world was closing in on me. 

As foolish as it may sound, he was my happiness when sadness was the only thing I felt. He was like a childhood blanket that you hold onto for comfort. He always found his way up to my chest and snuggled right into my neck as if he was never close enough. From four weeks little, he has always slept bedside next to me. I am a firm believer that animals are stress relievers. 

I know he is sick from scans he had done. However, it was determined that he may be ok with a daily dose of prednisone. And he was doing better for the last six or so months but now I am watching him deteriorate even more and I know saying goodbye is not far off. 

What makes this whole situation even harder is now I have to explain to my 3.5 yr old that he is going to heaven. And she cries because she doesn't want him to go either. I'm just dreading the whole process and wish he could live forever. I knew it was going to be hard but not this hard.

Back to the love thing ... he helped me understand how strong love can be. I don't think we truly understand unconditional love until we have a child. We know we love our family but when you have a pet or child, you learn how crazy love can make you. hehe. 

Perhaps he came into my life to help me through my toughest season or maybe to teach me love and now he is ready to rest. I couldn't have chosen a better cat to travel those days with me. 

I'm gonna go now and appreciate the time I have left with him. I couldn't be more thankful for the time we've already had, the pain he's been through and the love he has given me and my family.