Finding Sanity During Uncertain Times
Apr 07, 2020
FINDING SANITY DURING DIFFICULT TIMES
Life as we knew it, will never be the same again.
We are now living in a different world where a handshake will no longer be, a hug is contemplated and social gatherings are non-existent. Jobs have been lost, people are dying and everything we once knew has now shifted.
Worry is a primary feeling each day.
Anxiety is at an ultimate high.
And normalcy seems so far away.
Today I want to talk about 5 things we are doing to keep our sanity during such an uncertain time. I think it’s important for you to know that my part time hours that I typically work have been cut down, my husband has been laid off, preschool in VT (where my daughter goes) has physically been dismissed for the remainder of the year and is doing online learning, and my mom used to watch my kids but now they stay home with my husband.
Many changes going on here and so I wanted to share some ways in which we are trying to find sanity in an insane time.
Last month I started implementing gratitude graphics. These are just fun, simple graphics that I’ve created for each member of the family to color. Last month we did flower gardens for spring, this month we did easter eggs and baskets. We each color our own picture together.
Each night we sit down to eat dinner together with no distractions. That means no ipads, no phones, etc and we talk. We talk about our day and each person gets to say what they are thankful for.
It’s fun! Especially when you have little kids like we do.
Natalie - our 2 year old - is thankful for me every night and when I ask what else, she has said other family member’s names or things like her hair.
Nyla - our 4.5 yr old - is catching on that being grateful is about all the little things just as it is the big stuff. She told us the other day that she is thankful for Natalie’s teeth.
Once we all say what we are blessed for, it gets written down on our graphic we colored. And some days we have revisited the things we said we were grateful for. It’s a way to teach our kids that there is good in each day if you look for it.
But it’s also a way for us as adults - me and my husband - to keep what is important at the forefront when times feel hard. I believe deep in my heart that there are blessings in every day as long as we look for them.
Routine and Praise is my second way we have been able to find some level of sanity during a time where we are all home and social distancing.
Routine is my jam. Just ask my husband. I think that kids thrive in routines - at least ours do. They know what is expected of them and it creates normalcy for them during times like this.
An example would be at bedtime. Every night we give the kids a bath, eat dinner together, play, brush our teeth, have 30 mins of unwind time and then it’s bedtime. Both kids know that when we say it’s time to unwind that we are getting closer to bedtime.
Now let me be clear, this does NOT mean that they don’t get second winds or resist bedtime. But they know what is expected of them and when we are consistent, they respond better.
For me, I follow a morning routine that goes something like this - wake up, smile (yes, it works - just try it), get out of bed at least 30 mins before the kids wake up to have a hot cup of coffee and listen to my audio book. It just starts my day off so much better than when I wake up WITH the kids because, truth is - they are bossy from the moment they open their eyes.
With routine goes praise. Kids love to be praised. Hell - adults love to be praised too. I have found that when we praise Nyla - she behaves differently.
I’ll give you a couple examples. At dinner time, our kids are fussy like everyone else’s. But we encourage the kids to eat what we make before we offer anything else to them. I always tell them if you take a bite and don’t like it then you can spit it out. If they spit it out, I still praise them as if they won the olympics. You may think this is foolish but what I’m doing is encouraging her to keep trying new foods because if she likes it then she will eat it. By forcing her to eat it and getting frustrated when she doesn’t, well that just does not work.
Another way is when the kids pick up their toys. Last night Nyla told me she was going to sweep and vacuum the house, pick up our entryway, clean up the basement because she wanted me to rest and relax. And then followed up with she wanted me to be proud of her.
I promise you, if you’re a parent struggling with kids who don’t listen or are acting out, look for ways in which you can love and praise the smallest of things. It will make a big difference in their behavior. I learned this when we implemented the sticker reward system.
As I mentioned, just as kids love to be praised adults do too. Instead of finding all the ways to beat yourself up (like what you’re eating or if you’ve gained weight or your hair needs a die and a cut or your mani is peeling off) - look for ways to applaud what you did do and what you did get done.
And don’t forget about your spouse. If they are home and you’re on the verge of divorce because of it, look for the ways that they did something that you didn’t have to do. Maybe they cooked dinner, or bathed the kids or took time to hug and kiss you. It’s during these times that we must remember we are a team not opponents. If you’ve never read the five love languages, grab yourself a copy or google it online to take the quiz. This will help you feel loved and show love to the ones in your life that matter.
Feeling stuck is a bad feeling to have, right? What if we instead used the word SAFE. I feel safe at home instead of STUCK at home. Changes the way you feel, doesn’t it?
We are trying to find activities to keep us feeling unstuck. Any chance we get to be outside in our yard, we take it. If you know me or have followed me on social media, you know I struggle with messes. I’m working on letting go of that and letting the kids get muddy and wet (if it’s warm enough outside), play in the dirt, pick up the gross worms. Haha. The smallest of activities such as gathering sticks in the yard or doing an outdoor scavenger hunt makes a difference. Let the whole family participate in selecting what you’ll look for.
And just as you’re doing things with a spouse or a family, make sure you find time to recharge yourself. I go for walks and do my podcasts while my husband has the kids. He loves to go fishing so he does that while I stay with the kids. Finding what makes your soul feel renewed will play a big part in your sanity during this time. Don’t forget about you!
If you want a positive life, you cannot fill it with negative thoughts. If there is only one thing you hear from this episode, let it be THIS.
Remove or lessen anything that stirs some kind of negativity in you. Whether that be the news on TV, who you follow on social media, friends you are communicating with or even the mess of your home.
Think of it as poison. You would never voluntarily poison yourself or your loved ones, right? Now is the time to clean up the toxins in your life. And the way you do this is to turn into your feelings. When you’re in your home, is there stuff everywhere and it leaves you feeling anxious. Set aside some time to clean it.
When you’re scrolling social media and something triggers you to stop. Marie Kondo that shit. Is it bringing you joy? If not, unfollow. Take back the control of your life. If you find yourself tuning into the news more often now, is it bringing you down? If so, maybe limit it to once a day or every other day or not at all.
The environment you live in totally makes a difference in the quality of life you live. Protect it as much as you can.
And the last thing I do is create lists. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, it’s because I feel like I have too many things to do or too many thoughts in my head at one time. The way I get through this is by making lists. Getting it out of your head, will help you to feel less overwhelmed.
Whatever is going on in your head, break it down into smaller steps. It will seem more manageable.
This past week I created a master grocery shopping list. The last place I want to be these days is in the grocery store but it obviously cannot be avoided. I like to have my list in order of the store or by department so I’m not scanning my list a million times and back tracking.
But because I’m adding to the list each week and so is my husband, I usually have to redo the list. So I decided to create a master list of everything we buy. This way I don’t have to redo the list and all we have to do is check off what we need. Makes my life so much easier and I can get in and out of the store.
Let me end this episode with saying SIMPLE is BETTER.
Keep it simple during this time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And practice kindness to you and others as we just never know what others are going through.
I encourage you to find ways to be thankful.
If you’re having trouble with your kids, have you tried a sticker reward system? If not, I have written up exactly what we did to help us through a tough time.
If you want to practice daily thanks, I will post a link for you to download our gratitude graphic to implement.
If you need a standard shopping list, go check out mine and print one so you can get in and get out of the store.
I will include all the resources I’ve shared here so that you can implement them for free.
From my home to yours, I hope you are safe and healthy and I will chat with you next week. ♥︎
RESOURCES
Download our our step by step process for the Sticker Reward System HERE.
COMING SOON ...
I'm working on getting a spot setup so you can grab a copy of our Gratitude Graphic and my master grocery shopping list. Be sure to check back.
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