Dear Fat Girl
Dear FAT girl ... oh wait, should I not have said that?! I'm pretty sure you refer to yourself as fat on the reg! And sometimes even worse. I'm coming to you today because there is SOO much I need to tell you. First things first - I GET IT! I know how you're feeling.
It's literally like hell on earth... you are a prisoner to mean thoughts more than you’re not. You’re quick to dismiss compliments as if you're not great or even good enough to receive them. You're in constant battle with your inner mean girl - the damn villain that is thriving on you failing at life.
You lose almost 99% of the time to her. Don’t you? Just when you feel like you’ve turned the corner and things seem to be looking bright for you. Enter the villain. She badgers you, knocks you down, takes the wind right out of your sail. She is going to fill you up with lies like you’re not good enough or why you? She makes you believe you're not worth all those things you dream of. You're a failure who hasn't succeeded yet. Why would this time be any different, right?
The mirror and getting dressed are your two living nightmares for you. The mirror because you simply can't stand to see your reflection. Your mind becomes flooded with everything you hate about yourself. It’s like a domino effect. One negative turns into a thousand. And the first place you focus on, is your biggest insecurity. Then the feeling of disgust sets in and you’re completely overwhelmed!
And your clothes ... well that's just a fight you lose every single time. You change outfits 100 times before you head out the door and never once do you feel 100% confident in yourself. In fact, sometimes you feel worse leaving than you did before you started getting ready. It's almost paralyzing. You can feel so frustrated that you don't even want to leave the house.
Sounds all too familiar, don't it? I know because this is my story. I lived it, just like you may be in it RIGHT NOW. Yes, you!
My thoughts were my worst enemy. I didn't dare speak to another the way I spoke to myself. Who would ever want to be friends with me if I did? And when I realized this... I took my control back. I learned I was no longer powerless over my inner critic! So today, I'm here to tell you there is HOPE for brighter, more positive days. You too hold the cards and can change this course RIGHT NOW!
Can I ask you, have you ever considered your inner beauty? Do you think you're a good person? How about your personality? How you treat others? What if all those things defined your beauty? What if you saw yourself through your best friends eyes? How would she describe you?
And so what you have fat on your body. Can I take this moment to remind you just how amazing the human body really is. It fricken shows up for you when you don’t want to show up. It heals you. It stretches while you grow. It’s going to work for you every.single.day even though you are working against it.
I want to challenge you. Imagine if you practiced some kindness. Given yourself a little bit of grace. What if you decided that your body is amazing REGARDLESS OF your appearance.
And then what if you took a second and thought of all the ways you are loved. And what your family and friends love about you. I bet it has nothing to do with your physical appearance.
So when you’re feeling down in the dumps about your body - quietly or loudly remind yourself that you are perfect just as you are. Because even though you may not be where you want to go - the girl/woman you are RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT is the strong one who can make the change to BECOME who you want to be. She is your strength, not the improved you that you’re wishing for.
I have a couple of reminders for you as we part ways -
#1 - a mirror is just glass and you’re more than that! Do not let a mirror be the determining factor of whether or not you’re worthy. Same goes with the scale. You are so much more than a number.
#2 - determine what your inner villain thrives on. One thing I have learned is that you have an inner mean girl and an inner hero. Wanna know which one is gonna win?
The one you feed the most.
Find the things that inspire you, excite you and bring happiness to your life. Do more of that. Starve the things that make you feel shitty. And your inner hero will thrive.
The work this takes is so worth it. I promise.
So can we start over? ....
Dear WORTHY girl ... you may not be where you want to be in life but every day is an opportunity to take you closer! You were born into this world because there is something super special about you. You look that inner mean girl in the mirror TODAY and tell her NO MORE! No more will you allow her to tear you down! No more will you allow her to badger you about all the things that make you beautiful and unique! No more will you give her the power of your mind and over your days! No more will you become a prisoner to the negativity of your thoughts. Today is the day you take a stand! You are going to learn to see yourself through a different lens.
I'm here for you! I may have not met you yet, but I already know how you're thinking and my purpose is to show you that life is not meant to be that way.
From my heart to yours - never give up because you are not alone.