Be the Creator of Your Life
Jul 07, 2020
BE THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE, NOT A MANAGER OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES
Heyyy guys! After about a month off from my last published episode, I have felt inspired to share with you what’s been going on behind the scenes here in my world.
There is no doubt that we are living in a strange time right now. In the last month I have felt the weight of push and pull. Some days I feel pushed to share my life and all the things I’m learning and others days I am drowning in the pull. The pull back don’t say anything off color, mold into what society is asking of us and don’t make things seem like they are better than they are.
But the beautiful thing is that change is the driver of growth. We are growing and the pains of our problems are giving us the opportunity to be better. So I’m back and I’m showing up in a way that hopefully can serve you and allow me to continue releasing a new episode each week.
On June 22, 2020 I wrote in my journal at the top of the page in capital letters THE COMEBACK. It was the words that came from my heart and I didn’t exactly know where it would take me but I allowed my mind to release what is was on my heart. And underneath that title - THE COMEBACK - I wrote this …
“I’m committing to the work of figuring out my own strengths and how I can serve in a massive way.”
And before I could continue with my comeback plan, I must’ve got distracted because that was all I wrote on the page.
But something magical happened. I am going to see it as magical - well let me tell you what happened and you can decide.
Later that evening I saw a post from Tony Robbins on Instagram. He was inviting his community to do a free 7 day - you ready … COMEBACK CHALLENGE! Like - whhhhhatt!!!
The stars aligned and there was almost no thought needed to join.
On June 23rd, the following day, I started the Comeback Challenge.
I want to talk to you today about a small mindset shift that can really make a big difference, I think, it has for me.
If you’ve ever followed along with Tony then you know he is a straight shooter. He is not going to bullshit you. He tells it like it is - even if it’s hard to hear - but then forces you to see it better than it is.
During his 7 day Comeback Challenge he spoke on various topics and over delivered as he normally does. He reminded me that we don’t go out to our gardens and plant weeds, right. They are going to grow automatically.
Well that is similar to how our brains work. We are going to look for the threat. Our brain is looking to protect us so it wants to focus on the negatives, kinda like the weeds. It’s the automatic.
It’s our job to guard our garden, our minds from the weeds. We need to stand guard and do whatever it takes to plant what will bloom and destroy what won’t.
It’s our job to feed and condition our mind with the things that make us feel inspired, that excite us and give us energy. And we need to do the same with our bodies. Do the thing that makes us feel alive.
It’s about us taking control of our lives. Learning that we have the power of CHOICE. We get to decide how we want to move and live through this life. And when we DECIDE to be the creator, we no longer have to be the manager.
We no longer have to manage our circumstances. We no longer believe that life is happening TO us but it’s happening FOR us. We no longer have to put out all the fires. We get to create all that excites us because whatever we want, is waiting to be unleashed from within us.
Let me ask you - have you ever felt like you had a break through at some point in your life? I know you have. We all have had at least one.
A breakthrough is just a moment in time when the impossible becomes possible and we act on it. It’s the moment where everything changes and we no longer settle for where we are.
I think sharing about this is powerful because there are two things that trigger a breakthrough - either something excites and inspires you into change OR something is so painful that you feel you can’t take it any longer.
Can I share a few major breakthroughs in my life, that can maybe give you a reference point or be relatable to your life?
Ok - here we go.
When I think of a PERSONAL BREAKTHROUGH, these are the ones that immediately come to mind.
Breakthrough #1: leaving an abusive relationship
The Trigger: the pain of staying was greater than pain of leaving
What Made it Feel Possible: a new emotion, a belief in myself that I deserved more
I lived in this relationship for 2ish years. It was toxic for a very long time and many of days/nights I wished to not live the life I was living. Yet it didn’t propel me out. It was the end-all fight where I finally took a stance for myself. And to be honest, the pain was so great that I was thinking that he could kill me. I was thinking that it was time that I stood up for who I was and no longer allowed this man to control me.
I knew I deserved more and it was time I solidified that belief by leaving and focusing on myself.
Breakthrough #2: sharing about our path to pregnancy through many losses
The Trigger: realizing that I’m not alone and neither are other women who feel alone
What Made it Feel Possible: conversations with others who never told anyone about their pregnancy loss. Realizing that there are so many who struggle in isolation for fear that something is wrong with them and don’t want to be judged.
When I built up the courage to speak about having three unsuccessful pregnancies before Nyla, I learned how common it was. I felt so much heartache for myself and others who confided their pain in me. Their conversations lit a fire in me that NONE of us deserve to walk the path of pregnancy alone. Nor are we to hide behind a fake smile as if everything is ok.
Breakthrough #3: I need to get healthy & stop making excuses
The Trigger: buying an at-home workout program - feeling excited and inspired
Possible: support, safety, new belief
Not only was I excited but I was determined to not fail myself AGAIN. I needed to prove to myself that I could start AND FINISH a program even when it felt hard. And through that moment I was able to create a healthier mindset, lifestyle and build strength and confidence in myself.
Breakthrough #4: Getting upset with the kids only escalates the situation
The Trigger: feeling mad at myself for not being more patient
Made it Feel Possible: offering a hug and being calm helps resolve and make space for their big feelings.
This one is tough because I’m constantly finding myself having this breakthrough over and over again. It’s easy to fall back to the parenting style we grew up with. But one thing I know in my heart is that my kids respond so much better when I’m calm.
So why do I share these? Because each one of these breakthroughs transformed me into who I am today. It forced me to grow. It gave me the opportunity to see life better than the way I was living it.
Now let me ask you again - have you had a breakthrough? What are your top 3 or 4?
What’s the breakthrough?
What triggered the breakthrough?
And what made it feel possible?
Then think about what you are going through now. Can you trigger a new breakthrough. What do you need to change? How can you see yourself better than you are, right now?
Breakthroughs often come in the form of a breakdown. Take your mess and turn it into your message.
Thank you for taking the time to listen in today. If you’d like to come learn with us in my free community, join HERE. Until next time, I’m sending you all the love and happiness your heart can handle. From my home to yours - scatter kindness and love with every fiber of your being.