Give Yourself Some Credit
Feb 25, 2020
In this episode I want you to be able to self identify that there is SO much for you to praise yourself for. If you were to sit down and write every-single-thing that you do. You would completely amaze yourself.
One year ago, I wrote a letter to myself. It’s not the first time I’ve done this. But this time it was different. Typically, letters I’ve written to myself have been more from a place of “if I could go back to my younger self - what would I tell her knowing what I know now” OR a letter to my future self on all the great things I’ve achieved - kinda like a letter to the future me.
And just to be clear … I didn’t hand write anything. Does anyone hand write letters anymore? I opened up my MAC and started typing. It was a letter from my perseverance.
Now let me backup and tell you where this gem of an idea even came from. One night I climbed into bed as I normally do at 7:30 - no shame for this mama’s game - and turned the TV on. By the end of the day, I’m not looking to watch any kind of series that requires my attention span. Because quite frankly, my brain is borderline mush by the end of the day.
Anyway - I climbed into bed and remembered that the movie Made for More by Rachel Hollis was now being included in my Amazon Prime membership. I was excited for this because I didn’t have the opportunity to see it in the theaters.
And during this documentary she highlights her Rise Conference and how she helps women to feel more, be more and do more. And during one segment of the movie,she encourages the audience to write a letter from their perseverance.
And for the sake of this podcast, I did go back and watch the movie again so I could accurately tell you what the letter entails.
In this movie she explains that this letter is a way for you to pay credit to yourself. For all the things we’ve been through (aka our past). She then says, “Let this letter be from your persistence, your tenacity, from the part of you that never gave up, from the part of you that fought through your labor, from the part of you that put yourself through school, from the part of you that raised those babies, from the part of you that showed up for your life. You’ve done so many freaking amazing things that you don’t give yourself credit for.”
MAIN POINTS OF EPISODE:
I had every intention of reading you my letter from last year but since rewatching the film and knowing how much has changed in the last year for me, I took some time to rewrite my letter. So I want to read you my letter from this year that I wrote to myself. If you want to see the difference in my letters, I will post both in the show notes.
------
Feb 2019:
Dear Heather,
I am your persistence and I need you to know all the ways that you continue on even though some days, it seems like it would be so much easier to give up. This is what you must remember during those hard times ...
YOU ARE A MOTHER.
The absolute hardest role to step into is motherhood. Here are some of the ways I have helped you through -
- You delivered, not one but two, babies without an epidural. The pain you felt was insurmountable but you pushed through even when you thought you wouldn't make it.
- You breastfed both babies even though your nipples were raw, scabby and sore. You knew the importance it would have on their health and so you kept going even though you would cry during feeds and devote countless hours to them as their source of life.
- Not only did you breastfeed but you pumped every single night so that if your daughter needed a bottle, the extra milk was there. Sleep was so much more appealing and there were nights when you would have your husband wake you up just to pump.
- Some days are really tough with two kiddos. Patience can wear thin. Stir crazy sets in. But you do your best to provide for them in every way possible.
YOU ARE A DREAMER.
People will never believe in your dream as much as you do and for this reason, it's admirable that you continue to forge on even though you are not where you want to be yet. Amongst many failures, you have kept dreaming of a life that you know someday you will live. You want more than the status quo. You work to be creative. You want to serve as many women as you can possible reach. And although there are times you doubt yourself, you never give up. Persistence, that's me, will always keep you motivated to live that dream!
YOU ARE A WARRIOR.
In so many ways you show up for others and yourself. Let me remind you how ...
- You show up for yourself to find peace with your body. You know the importance of self love, not just for you, for your daughters. You must lead the way for them and so you put that work in.
- You show up as a wife. You are always looking for ways to keep your love alive.
- You show up for your clients. You challenge them to think differently. You share what is working for you and help them to transform in ways that never thought possible.
- You show up for the household. You pick up each day/night to make sure your family lives in a neat, clean home.
- You show up everyday by waking up and taking on the day no matter what is thrown at you.
You find a way. You always figure it out. And at the end of the day, you need to remember that you have it within you to achieve whatever it is you're going after. Persistence is never going to let you down. I am here to keep you going.
---------------------
Feb 2020
Dear Heather -
I am your persistence and this is what I need you to know! You are ENOUGH even during all those moments where you doubt yourself and your ability to be the best version of yourself. And here is why …
M O T H E R H O O D
You are a MOTHER. That in and of itself means you’re a superhero. From the moment you found out you were pregnant, through the heartbreak of an ectopic pregnancy and four miscarriages to this moment of raising two beautiful girls - you always held onto faith that everything would work out. The path was not smooth but it was worth it.
Delivering two babies with no epidural in an immense amount of pain - you kept pushing.
Breastfeeding two babies who were tongue tied and had dairy issues, nipples cracking, and cringing at the thought of feeding your child - you kept going.
Sleepless nights, being the most desired person in the house, lots of demands, love and patience - you kept giving.
Scared, frustrated and exhausted - wondering if you were cut out for this role, you kept believing.
Y O U R H E A L T H
Figuring out what health is and always having an open mindset to learning what is best for you. Identifying all the ways in which you strive to be healthy. Recognizing what no longer works and modifying as you go - this takes a level of awareness that you continue to work on.
You are learning that your body is nothing to be ashamed about. When you really think about how magical the body is - you begin to appreciate it more. Your body has carried you through life and showed up even on the days you didn’t want to.
Y O U R S E L F W O R T H
You stood up for yourself when it seemed impossible to do so. You learned your self worth is maybe the most unconventional of ways but you took the time to learn it. You survived years of abuse and wondering if you’d ever find love and happiness in the capacity you dreamed of - and because you didn’t give up, you did.
You learned what you will no longer settle for and what is worth your time. You learned that life is full of choices that we have control over. And you also learned that there are things you cannot control - and by learning the difference, you have learned to let go.
You are determined and have always been. In some instances, you had to learn the hard way even with people trying to guide you away from bad decisions but the most important part here is that you learned.
You have so much kindness in your heart almost to a fault. This can be seen as your best quality or your worse. Kindness can often be viewed as a weakness yet you’ve never let this part of you get tarnished with the bad side.
You are a helper and as much as it can feel heavy at times, you always want to help. You are there to lend an ear, create a community or share your truth with others so that women never feel alone in what they are going through.
You believe in the power of your dreams even when it’s mixed with self doubt. You know that this is so much more to this life than a 9-5 and are determined to find your place serving this world.
You live with a growth mindset that we all have space to grow. My spot at the table awaits me as long as I’m willing to step up to the table.
A L L T H E O T H E R T H I N G S
You keep the household running - laundry, dishes, cooking, getting the kids ready, bringing Nyla to school and more.
You pursue your passion even when it feels scary.
You launched a podcast with an iphone headset recorded in a full storage closet with women who you were brave enough to request an interview with.
You show up every damn day with the intention of being better today than yesterday.
You are not where you want to be yet you do not let this stop you in your tracks.
You are a wife who is always trying to keep your love alive and learn ways to be better for your husband.
You always find a way to keep going. You never give up and for that, I thank you!
Writing that letter felt SO DAMN GOOD to actually acknowledge the positive things about myself. So when I’m having an off day or wondering if I can push through whatever comes up as an obstacle, I have this letter to remind me that I never give up.
OUTRO CALL TO ACTION: I want to wrap this up saying this … we are so focused on the next thing we are chasing that we don’t stop to recognize all the things we’ve walked through. We hate on ourselves so much that we forget all the awesomeness that we are.
TODAY take a moment, like me and write yourself a letter from your persistence. Give yourself credit for all the ways you show up and should be celebrated for. Get out a piece of paper OR pull up the notes section on your phone and write down this first sentence …
Dear [your name] - I am your persistence and this is what I want you to know.
Thank you for tuning in to today’s episode. If you’d like to share your letter or join our exclusive sisterhood over on Facebook, you can find the link on my website. That is at www.heatherfcooper.com.
If you have a friend or family member that you think may benefit from this episode, share the love. Your voice matters. From my heart to yours, chat with you next week.