Your Thoughts Paint Your Reality

I want you to stop and think about how you speak to yourself! When you look in the mirror! And the thoughts that swarm your mind. Go ahead, take a few minutes and ponder this – I can wait…

This topic is very near and dear to me because for a very long time I severely struggled with loving the person reflecting back at me. I had so much love for the core of who I was. I had (and thankfully still do) amazing friends and family that were super supportive of me. I always had a warm place to lay my head and food on my table. I was fortunate to never have to “go without.” The problem was that I could never entirely focus on anything wonderful in my life.

I was drawn to comparing myself to others. I focused on all the things that made me feel insecure – my midsection being the biggest. I hated having to dress up for anything. It was torture for me. I could almost never find something that I felt confident and pretty in. I would get dressed, go to the mirror and pick apart everything about my body and the way it looked in whatever I was wearing. By the time I had to leave, I was miserable. I knew that I couldn’t fully enjoy myself as I was so uncomfortable in what I was wearing.

To me, this is one of the most cruel acts we place upon ourselves. The way we silently speak to and about ourselves can be so humiliating and nasty! Would you ever talk to a friend the way you think to yourself? Would you ever allow a friend to treat you the way you treat yourself? You’d be completely crushed, right? If someone was telling you on a daily basis that you’re fat, ugly, short, [insert any negative thought you have] on the regular, would you still want to spend time with that person? My response would be h-e-l-l NO!

It’s time to bring awareness to this topic. It’s the unspoken misery that many people live. It’s a scary place to spend most of your days. Isn’t it time we begin the self love process of learning how to handle these thoughts? I want to give you five of my tips to start loving yourself from the inside out. This is what has worked for me.

1. Identify what it is that will make you feel AMAZING! Is it wearing a particular type of outfit? Is it weighing a few pounds less? Is it being able to get through a workout program? Is it having your significant other or family compliment you? You can’t go after AMAZING if you don’t know what will make you feel it.
2. Get rid of the negative self talk! Most of what you tell yourself is a lie. When you notice yourself being mean, switch it out for something positive. For example, if you tell yourself that you’re fat then you need to redirect to “I’m working on achieving the body of my dreams.” Sounds much nicer doesn’t it? And you pay yourself credit for the work you are doing to better yourself.
3. Have a power statement you go to during difficult times. When you begin to doubt yourself, think of something that will reinforce a positive affirmation. Some of these could include, “today is a new day” or “moving forward” or “you got this!” Repeat this as often as you need to. I use the word FORWARD at times to remind myself that I must move in a forward direction. Engaging in self hate behavior pushes me backwards, not forwards.
4. Building confidence creates self love automatically. Do something outside your comfort zone to build confidence in yourself. Try a new workout program for 30 days, introduce yourself to someone new, sign up for a class you’ve always wanted to take or commit to no sugar for 21 days. When you conquer something that challenges you, you empower yourself with belief and this helps you to overcome the negative.
5. Dive into personal development. Learn the skills of creating a positive mindset around whatever it is you struggle with. There is a book, audio, speaker, event for almost anything you could imagine. Find someone you resonate with. Use YouTube to watch videos. Remove the negative from your days. If you have negative friends, reconsider how much time you spend with them. If you watch the news on TV, think about what you’re feeding you brain – negative things. Find more positives to engage in and watch how much your world turns.

Thanks for reading. Be kind to yourself. Love who you are! Be you… unapologetically. You can’t have a positive life with a negative mind.

♥ Heather